but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
