to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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