my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
