I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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