I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
