the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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