Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
