Just cropdusted the office
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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