Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Are we still banned from the library?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
