something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
