I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
