2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
