Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
