if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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