She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
