So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
