If you die in college, do you die in real life?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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