I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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