Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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