It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
