she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
