So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
