he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
