He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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