Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
