wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
