Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
