i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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