Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
