It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
