I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
