This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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