She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I deserve this hangover.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
