All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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