Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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