she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
