What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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