she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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