Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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