It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
