yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
