its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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