It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
