So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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