Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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