the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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