I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
