She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
