Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
