Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
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