I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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