I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
When did angry sex become our thing?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
