Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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