Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
